what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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