Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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