He had one of those small greek statue penises
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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