I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize