I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
