I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I touched a dick in church today
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
