i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
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Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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