Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
