i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
