Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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