Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
