I feel like I'm in dance class right now
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
