she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
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She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
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I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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