so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize