This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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