That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
is that a dick in a sweater?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
