Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
