He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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