Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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