I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
