White coat. Heels.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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