haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
