So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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