I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
