We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
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Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
we're so committed to being not committed
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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