Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I could have mohawked her pubes.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
