If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
