i just wanna soil my oats bro
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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