apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
