i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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