found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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