your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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