Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize