a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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