You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
