I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.