just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
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Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
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I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult