I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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