i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
