why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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