She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
