I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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