is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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