after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
