hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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