get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
