can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
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like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
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Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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