its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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