the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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