margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
