Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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