I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
