I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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