sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
