we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize