Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
