his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
