I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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