we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
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Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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